Results

14 points.

Chinese A1
Combined Humanities A2
Combined Science A2
english B3
Literature B3
Emaths B3
Biology B4

maybe if i'd continue dreaming (see previous post) i'd have gotten 12, or 10 pts.
ha. really dream on sia.

My english and Lit disappointed me..
my best subjects which usually held my grades up
so that my L1R5 wouldnt seem so pathetic
let my grades down this time.
couldve hit 10.
oh well.
and my usually-the-worst subjects i dont study for-
comb humans and emaths- a surprising A2 and B3 respectively.
how ironic.
am happy yet sad..
average of 30+ points for normal exams =>
18 points for prelims =>
14 points for O levels.
Thank God.
Collected my GoodProgressAward of $150.
(: (: (:

was quite shocked when i first counted my points cos
it totalled 17.
then my friend reminded me that i still had my chinese.
PHEW!
My parents are happy with my results, though i think that it couldve been better.
"At the rate you were studying, 14 is already very good!"
bleah.
Bro: "if you go poly i slap you ah!"
ok lor. slap liao den i go poly.
haha.
but my parents are supportive of my decision..
dad even told me to go register for both business and masscomm and see how it goes.

Nanhua did really well.
top pupil was a 9 A1-ner.. a girl.
perfect score la.
surprise again, it was not the expected every-year-top-pupil-in-my-level.
not a 4/1 person. 4/5. trip sci oso la.
4/5 did very well, most of the 8/9 distinctions holders were from 4/5.
there were no tears of sadness. maybe some, but not due to bad grades.
only tears of happiness,
some sighs of disappointment. like me.
no one was forced to ITE.
everyone passed the Os.
even the sec 5s!
only 4 people couldnt make it into JCs/CIs if im not mistaken.
even the 'paikias', slackers, all managed to get available-for-JCs scores.
So proud of Nanhua!!
cant wait for the school rankings to come out.
i got a feeling we'll be in top 10!!
yeahhhhhh. (:

A big THANK YOU to all who have prayed and supported and encouraged me throughout my O level period. Even though i wasnt in the best of situations/states of mind i really wouldnt have managed to press on without your encouragement. Special thanks to my family, godma, godpa, eunhee-mei, doreen, rose, crystal, emileen, raelo,joyceT,ronggay. especially to my Father in Heaven.
i love you all.

missyalots.

burntburntburnt.

was very fun!
but.
sentosa was surprisingly rather crowded..
apparently 2/3 of the people there were from PJC.
sooooo many J1s ponned.
one class even had a 'class outing'.
on a school day.
poor teachers..
me raelo cathy.
dilys and priscillla put our aeroplane!
boo. but lo's friend wendy aka 'da jie' joined us.
played volleyball, 'water games', took lotsa photos etc.

manyfotos!!(clickme)

was freaking crappy/lame.
i know i am most of the time,
but yesterday i was really on a crappy high.
i irritated the shit out of myself even.
anyway.

RESULTS WILL BE OUT IN LESS THAN 4 HOURS!!

i admit. though i seem very aloof towards my results whenever anyone brings up the topic,
of course i will be rather disappointed if i dont do so well.
18 is enough to disappoint me, honestly.
some very weird dreams last night.
all 3 dreams (which was clearer) gave me 18pts, 16pts and 14pts respectively.
and boy was i disappointed.
every time someone tries to gauge my score,
i stop them. cos i dont want any false hopes.
and i dont want to disappoint anyone should my results come out worse than they'd predicted. they'll feel paiseh no matter what.

backup plan:
if i cant get into mass comm,
i'll go into business.
but come to think of it again..
business is the more practical path.
masscomm is really kinda hard to break into.
but.
i like a challenge. =D
God'll show me i guess..

All the best everyone!

sometimes i wonder..
what i am becoming.

k today i really ponned the whole.thing.
and tml, im gonna pon the whole.day.
going sentosaa with my girlfriends.

My com's passworded!!! WT*!!
during Os it was locked, i didnt say anything cos it was for my own good.
Now?! wat finish work first?! wat sleep early?!
my bro has A LEVELS!
y aint his laptop gone?!
he uses it till later than me!!!!
freakernarden.

anyway.

Watch Big Fish!
its REALLY REALLY REALLY GOOOD.
Life! Movies rated it four out of five stars.
and it is worth every star its rated.
touched my heart.
few movies move me, and this one did.
watched it with eugenia and jamie.
nicenice J1 re(tard)tainees.
haha!
took fotos after e show. veh nice. (:
Initial plans with sheng for our pool showdown was spoilt
due to too-many-pple-on-waiting-list at planet paradigm.
he was so disappointed cos he was so sure that he could beat me hands down today.
sorry ah. there's only one person who can trash me can.
there's a party at e same place this friday..
a friend asked me to go, but. dowan la.

slept 11hrs yesterday. 8.30pm-6.30am.
ting says i look much more energetic today.
so maybe that's what which has been giving me crazy thoughts.
lack of sleep. maybe cos i didnt go for any boring lectures today. bleah.
got my nu` specs!!!
yay. i quite like them.
weird shape, as usual. boo.
Oh. and i got a temporary handphone courtesy of godpa.
im messageable now. yay.
but apparently no one smses me anymore. haha.
pls identify urself when u sms me (to save smses asking and answering identity qns!)! thanks!

FRIDAY 2.30PM IS RESULTS TIME!!!
argh.

idontknowidontknowidontknow!!
my mind's in a whirl.

ponned almost e whole day of school today.
i feel bad ponning physical geog cos there was a test and i know nuts about physical geog.
its either u know it or you dont.
Mr Davis was standing outside e class, looking for students-
only 7 showed up.
argh. felt quite bad.. but bo pian.
i still will hand up a blank piece of paper.

went to ho ting's bf's house near my own place -.-'
for mahjong (i won 2 out of 6 games!)
before going back for training.
my ankle, wrist, knee hurts.
argh. im falling apart literally.
and emotionally.
training was rather rubbished.
kinda wasted my time going, really..
boo.
thai was ok. i guess i can do e phonetics without much problem now.

i feel rather sick of many things nowadays.
myself included.
how wonderful this world would be
if i hadnt existed.
i wouldnt be a hindrance
i wouldnt cause so much trouble
i wouldnt be an asshole to anyone,
and ultimately, to myself.
There will be no Benita and she will not have to face all these
pain, guilt, anguish, sadness, anger.
all these rubbish.
my heart's smarting again.
i need a long-awaited time out with myself.
its time to reflect and clear the rubbish.
and again go to the beach alone one of these days.
just me. myself. and i.

i need to pour out all of my tears.
they are drowning me inside.
but they just cant seem to be able to flow.
i'd rather die within..
i wanna stop falling all over again.

which is more painful?

choose between this 2 only.

.watching the person you love love another and you cant do anything about it but smile and laugh like nothing's wrong.

or

.trying to break clean away from the person you love because you dont want to hang on to that ultra thin line of hope that things may come out and get disappointed in the end.

sometimes i just wanna cut myself off from the world.

i see that teachers are starting to visit my blog...
is that a good sign?
boo.
anyways.
I LOST MY HANDPHONE!!!!!!!!!!!
ARGH. dont ask me where, how.
I DONT KNOW MYSELF!!
That's what makes the whole-thing even more -aaarrgghh- to me.
thursday. the handphone pouch where i put it is still there,
but the handphone is gone.
i feel cut off from the world.....worse of all,
messages of sentimental value i have stored in my hp since last year-
GONE.
allll the numbers,
GONE.
My childhood friend offered to sell me his 3mth old nokia3200 for $100.
provided his mama says ok.
cos he's sick of nokia, wants a samsung. bleah.

Filming's completed!!
While we were filming at a void deck near Indra's (nice maisionette!),
a plasticbag filled with water dropped down right beside Hafis.
followed by a guy shouting and me and hafis shouting back up.
me: "Eh humji ah? wuji come down and talk la! throw wat throw!!"
whoops. x=
a man came down after awhile, shoulders with tatoos.
couldnt make out his race, but he stood at the top of the staircase and went:
"U all..!..shut up! My son wants to sleep ok! F**k you! (pause, everyone stares stonily into space) F**k! (looks at rachel) Bitch! (pause. thinking of wat to scold next i presume) F**k you all!"
wanna act beng oso cannot make it.
try again la loser.
i tried not to snigger at his pathetic try-hard-ness.
he didnt dare come down i could see.
we had numbers.
stood there for a couple of minutes, watched us stone.
then he walked off.
Debated whether he was malay or chinese for awhile,
filming momentarily disrupted.
everyone was kinda in shock, some afraid that he was a gang member.
Ahbao: i will find out where he stays! i wont let him off so easily one!
he wants to throw some shit into the person's flat.
we decided to move off to another void deck nearby.
banged my head against the pillar while walking backwards to film. ouch.
forgot my own block number for awhile there..
im starting to forget things due to frequent head concussions.
filming went smoothly after the madman incident,
and it was done!!
yeahh man.
going to AC funfair.
apparently me godma and bear and joan and lydia have $80 worth of tickets among us
thanks to generours donors who buy and give us the tickets.
ok. im leaving soon.
MY ache-pee!!!!
sobz.

why does it have to be you..
you're irreplaceable.
that's what adds to the pain.

HOTHOTHOT

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Ao6: here's what ms chua took of our class today. ((:

o4Ao6

monday.
skipped school, was not feeling too good.
went for training in e end..
indra wanted to whack me when he saw me. haha.
chionged down to church for Thai language class.
will take level 1 this half, next half level 2, then end of year is my mission trip!
yeah man.
its like hanyupinyin, but with more 'sheng1 diaos4'
many other church peeps joined us..
and many got confused after they initially thought it was easy.
well i guess im rather good at hanyupinyin,
so it wasnt much of a problem for me..
but its just e basics, so who knows if i can handle those coming up eh.

slack, slack.
skipped econs today.
damn...im just starting to feel super nua.
very tired nowadays.
guess all my entries these days contain the word 'shagged'.
dozed off during GP, drooled bits. bleah.
Lit's shiok. filming is just sooooo fun.
im one of e cameramen!
i guess that's the only perk of the day.
freaking bored.
my right knee hurt today. damn.
anyway. i finally passed e card to denise!
heh. but rong's MIA, cant pass her her very belated card.
apparently she hasnt been to sch for a number of days now..boo.
tml bball match with Serangoon JC.
we're going over.

life when im not with him is sooo boring now that my entries are starting to get boring eh.
the only perk comes whenever im with him.
and im lovin' it!

so many 'if only's.
but the only one that matters is that
if only we were together..
cos im addicted to you.

da computer was my date fer V's day.
skipped X-ctry cos i was too shagged.
woke up late, so decided not to go.
raelo did a rose fer me..
but since i didnt go school, she couldnt give it to me.
Sorry girl! but i really appreciate your thoughtfulness. ;))

swimming, pia-ed butterfly for 50m, and back again.
pushed myself to da physical limit.. felt good.
was fun, but freaking tiring.
think my shoulder's ok liao. i hope i dont develop huge shoulders!!

went to lynette's for dinner..
dialled for Rocky's pizza. Their pizza's GOOD!
surprise bday party fer edmund too.
our lights-out-cake-brought-in surprise was destroyed by da wind.
blew our candles out, had to relight, spoilt.
bleah.
went mad playing PS, some arcadey game which e girls + wilson desprately tried to defeat stanley.
and leon and edmund after stan apparently got tired of winning. heh!
i ended up jumping up and down like nobodies' business.
i think i woke the whole area of semidees up.
please dont sue my sorry ass off you rich freaks.
im just a poor little girl who never had PS ok?
bleah. watever.

my first ever back-up singing today.
pa said e whole svc was screwy.
never been so screwed for such a long time.
i duno..hope it wasnt me. boo.
anyway mama kept laughing at me singing...
demoralised..i dowanna sing anymore!! ;[
haha. see if im still wanted la bleah.

totally blinded..
shit.

school these 2 days have been bliss.
apart from the fact that i still have to wake up at 6.15am and worry my ass off for being late for school,
shiok man.
the time table has been merciful-
all the freaking boring classes are all after 10.30am!
but by that time im outta school
thanks to wonderful poly open houses.
bet the teachers love this time of the year too.

yesterday's match.
lost... no surprise. 30-49.
i played the whole of the 3rd quarter.
managed to score one basket. yeahhh man. better than nothing!
but 3 mins into my entrance, i got whammed by an elbow in my right temple.
it dazed me but i had to continue playing..
now i get occasional headaches. hurts like mad man.
and i cant seem to remember some stuff..
sia. i hope i dont develop some fiborous thingie. aint funny man..
Dunearn was freaking rough.
made me fall on my butt once..
but they're good.
i had a good time too.
was more confident this time round..
jinghui and zirong rocks! heh.
this time everyone played better too (:
prac was ok.
my nerves couldve settled earlier if ma stopped laughing like nobodies' business. ;(
heh. she had to turn and not face me.. bleah.
haha!

slacked in town from 12 today till 4...
am rather sick of town liao.
and im dead broke.
im spending faster than i save!! damn!
bought 2 cards- for denise and rong.
their bdaes are tml!
V's day.
no dates, no nothing. dont care.
but my clique were sooo sweet..
bought me a little something.
nothing big, but i really appreciate their thoughtfulness.
didnt get anything...
felt so bad. ;[
today's Friday da 13th!
but aint no unlucky day for me..
apart from banging my head against the bus window while dozing off on e bus.

YF was cool.
celebrated friendship day,
girls exchanged a song with the guys,
wrote something nice about everyone on their piece of papers.

ok.
Happy Valentine's Everybody!
Enjoy. ((:

i rather have hard times with you
than have good times with someone else.
i rather be beside you in a storm
than be safe and warm alone
i rather be with the one who holds my heart...

match
just got e word saying that tml we have a match.
vs Dunearn Sec.
Again?!
wat sia..damn i think a secondary school beating a junior college is just too morale boosting.
asses.
bet that they have some new pattern which they wanna try on us sitting ducks.
i will go for it tml man, do my bestest, and show them that we aint no wimps!!!

k its almost AMI time. woot.

Been too hard on myself recently..
bet i'll fall sick in no time.
Physical torture due to bball training,
late nite - early morning chats on e fone.
i cant take it anymore.. my poor body is deprived of rest!!
tml still got training!! ARGH!
maybe i'll skip school tml.
it's Temasek and Nanyang Poly's open houses,
and i believe we'll be allowed to sign out early to go.
maybe i'll go-then sign out.
staying at home will kill me- mom'll force me to do housewerk.
but i wanna sleeeeeep my energy back.
ting commented that i look freaking shagged nowadays.
not that i shagged, but anyway.
had nothing to do after school, accompanied denise to wait for her opening ceremony rehearsal to start.
she's emceeing. ok, she has a fetish for all things cute and.. weird.
she's one mad person! "he's my eyyyyeeeee-caaanddyyyy!!!" not telling who though. bribe me.
heh. she's pretty nice.
pretty + nice. maybe hot la. hottest in pjc. yeahh.
damn denise u owe me big. ;]
training on monday was super hiong. couldve died. wish i could anyway.
these 2 days have been madness..
pure madness.
will attempt to shatter the windows of church tomorrow.
am trying my hand-or mouth-at back-up singing!
i dont know where my life's going.
wheee.
this unpredictability is driving me insane.
but im loving it.
im weird. but uniformity kills.
am i a sadist??
bleah.

this is how much i love you.
now i know why they say love is blind..
but this feeling sucks.
cos i know i cant have you..

looking around in this new country - Australia
she's all alone; not one face is familiar
this pint-sized girl with a humongous dream
her decision to leave shocked everyone it seemed.
there she emerged from the shadows to tell about
her hidden dream which has always been so clear to her throughout
she knows what she wants
she dares to reach for it despite the brunt-
everything she's leaving behind
19 years of her heart, soul and mind
family, friends, church and comfort
yet all she wants is for everyone to give her their full support
the happiness on her face still cant totally erase
the sadness of leaving her loved ones she subtly displays.
though i'll miss you i send my regards..
God bless you and be with you
don't forsake Him 'cos He's forever true
you can be alone but He will always be there
go ahead and fly; i know u dare
rage your dream and soar into the sky
take care my dear friend though we've met for not long
i hope to see you someday soon..
in my heart you'll always belong.
to jacinth. o8o2o4.

dreams.
she's left.
400miles away from home...Singapore.
but i guess this is where she'll always belong.
pint-sized girl with a humongous dream.
She seemed so happy to be leaving.. bet it was a really tough decision to make.
to leave friends, family, everything she's had of 19 years back here.
and chase her dream.
new beginning, new place, new people.
All the best, Jacinth..
We will always be here for you.
God bless..

I'm chasing my dream too.
That's why i've decided not to stay in PJC.
Im not confident about the teachers for one.
and e people...
though i love Ao6, i feel that staying for the people will not do my future good.
I agree with daena..the grass is always greener on e other side.
in this case, i guess i just cant really fit into the system/life.
though i seem as though all's well. i dont really like it.
im sorry Ao6. i'll really miss you guys.
im off to Ngeeannpoly to study masscomm.
maybe you'll hear my voice over the radio one day,
maybe you'll read my writings on e papers,
maybe you wont hear from me ever again.
a thousand 'maybes' as to what the outcome may be, my mind is set.
thanks Jacinth-
I'm chasing my dream too.

My brother has a dream too..
apart from his passion-table tennis,
he mindset is totally rigid-fied.
the only thing on his mind: SCHOLARSHIP.
freaky. these 11-letters are LITERALLY ubiquitous in his room,
especially when he's a-mugging for big tests or exams.
He thinks that scholarship's DA way for a BIG future.
I dont really agree.
many times we have argued over this.
but that's him.

godma took e practical route-study hard, go wherever results bring,
future in safer hands.
got a degree in Microbiology, a 'cold door' specialised subject, 3 years back.
Now, Life Sciences is some general degree everyone's fighting for.
Her degree is much more coveted.
But? She hates her job as a lab officer in NUS.
all the research etc, she loathes it.
she wants to quit. and do something she has the passion for.
microbiology isnt what she really loves.
its something arty.
but the arts is not really appreciated in this sodded country.
so..i think its really wasted, her degree that is.
degrees are plain paper qualifications now.
which makes me wonder..

Passion OR practicality??
for me, i DEFINITELY wouldnt wanna do something i dont have the heart for.
but of course, who doesnt wanna make it big?
Making it big doing something i have the passion for.
Or making it big doing something i dont have the passion for.
of course the former's ideal.
not easy sia.. oh well.

had a wonderful well-rested-long-weekend..
im so glad that it was really well spent with the ones i love.
dont feel like going back to school liao.
argh.
woke up freaking early for a sunday morning.
im going to catch up on my sleep.

you light up my life
you give me hope
to carry on..

parting
tomorrow morning.. 8am. Jacinth's leaving.
though i dont know her really well, who likes partings?
especially when its kinda for good. choy. ;[
went to mel's hse just now to write my msg on a notebook we bought for her.
we're pasting photos of us in it.
sigh.
im very sure that e air will be very poignant tml.
oh well.

anyway went to ngeeannpoly (again) to play basketball with e church peeps.
me dom ronald vivien gavin nathaniel bingzhong bingli godpa godma mel.
girls + ron VS guys. hah.
we put up a good fight ok!
some of ronald's jc friends played together with us before that.
ron's really good! so are his friends.
great workout..
kinda injury prone-ish today cos i was bumped into like nobodies' business.
fell on my bum when i crashed into pa
and bounced 3 times. on my bum.
3 times!!
my butt's lopsided to the left liao i think.
piangs...but that's e part and parcel of playing bball.
i play rough too.
my shooting's better..
im starting to be able to read e game even better than before too.
and im more daring to do layups liao. =|
im kinda wobbly now, my left hand is trembling even as i type.
i dont do drugs ok.! =s
had dinner with ma pa bear and nat.
tireeeeed.
gotta wake up 6am, leaving at 6.45am for e airport.
still gotta hang clothes!! argh.
rather hang myself.
or hang out with him.
heh.
nite peep-le.

lesson learnt today after reflection: not to make fun of william hung. its insensitive..especially if he is made fun of infront of those who cant sing..and they know it themselves..
but i really respect his humbleness.

im stuck on you....

Which Royalty Are You? Find out! By Nishi.

literally touched e doors of SP, left.
lazy to find Raelo&co.
Went to library@Orchard, found myself a nice spot with headphones.
listened to Robbie Williams(!) and read my Seventeen mag.
Shiok man.
Mel came, we went scouting for Jacinth's farewell present.
i went up and down town...
4 times!! goodness.
bumped into alot of pple too.. including Ms Chua, PJ Lit teacher.
My bro crashed PJC after 1pm cos i wasnt there.
i got my bikini!! Woot~! :D
Last piece..phew. i think there's a limited stock of it.
Im so sooo sooooooooooooo happy.
one of my most enjoyable times in town ever.
heh.
feet are freaking hurting due to sloppy pair of slippers.
saw a pair i like.
gotta get it next. shit im a spendthrift!
Bad. sigh.
leesheng told me he pierced his ear!!!!
OH MAN. will see it on sunday cos he wants to have e showdown with me.
paikia.....tsk tsk.
tomorrow's gonna be sian.
cant swim. again..its da time of da month. gahh.

I could spend my life in this sweet surrender,
I could stay lost in this moment forever,
Where a moment spent with you
is a moment I treasure.
forever and ever.

talked on e fone till 4am.
here i am now! heh.
woke up at 10.30am.
dont feel like going to SP to meet Raelo an' her Oh-Gee.
i wanna slaaacckk.
mom started yelling at me at 8am for not washing up e dishes last nite.
said i didnt tell her that i wasnt coming home for dinner.
I DID OK!! wah piang. washed e dishes whoozily,
plopped back onto e bed.
I think i can get my bikini today!!! yeahhh baby! :D

...Ah watashi no kakera yo chikara-zuyoku habataite yuke
furikaeranai de hiroi umi wo koete
Takusan no hikari ga itsu no hi ni mo arimasu you ni
Anata ga iru kara kono inochi wa eien ni tsuzuite yuku...

skipped.
skipped school today. went for ngeeannpoly's open house.
checked out e mass comm.... im ruddy sure i WANT to go there.
dammit. money, money. root of all evil. and problems.
oh well.
met godpa, had lunch and crapped like nobody's business.
he was to study, but i guess we ended up talking.
boo. hah, better not distract him too often liao.
his finals are coming!
rained, killed my mood for bball.
didnt go training.
went church to set up e instruments and stuff.
anyway qinrui msged to tell me that YJ won, 10pts for e guys, 10+pts for e girls.
PJ fielded J1s and non-regulars. So there, pa!
shagged out from e practice.
my coordination has gone slightly cuckoo.
but i guess it didnt go too badly.
i wanna try being a backup singer!
will do that soon. heh.
going town tml with mel to get Jacinth's farewell present.
sigh.
i hate partings.
should i skip school tml?
i think i will.

i want to hold you close
cos being with you leaves me
without a care in the world.
ironically, the greatest worry i have..
is you.

How boring can PJC get.?!.
Econs suck. and suck. stoned/crappedsoftly/laughed at e lecturer's pathetic pronunciation skills (im bad :p) to keep me from going into upright meditation during that freaking 1hr.
only interesting thing happened at 1pm.
A06 was selected to act...!
as an OG, and basically we all we had to do was to do what we were naturally gifted at.
no prizes for guessing..
noise. ((: heh*
anyway we just had to sit ard e stone tables outside e library,
make noise while e guy OGL(eader) and girl OGL are fantasizing about each other.
was kinda crappish.
maybe we all only know how e universal song- Happy Birthday.
Mr Yeo was hopping mad (not angry, but with his usual madness..think 'hopping around madly' :)), begging us to sing a different song.
("Is that ALL you guys know?!")
Me an' Raelo launched into e Cantonese happy birthday song.
("Gong zok lei sang yat hum jun ngor taooo...")
translated directly as: wishing you on your birthday to knock your head.
the rest are kinda like cursing one and e family, so i shall leave it out.
k then we just made noise, stupid actions, blah.
kinda meaningless, come to think of it. but it was rather fun.
realised that my class aint that enthu..not e WHOLE class, that is.
just a portion, half, e rest just joins in e clapping and laughing. and sometimes e screaming.
ok.la.maybe.aint.so.bad.
Mr Yeo to e cameraman: "Just call A06. Try and see... A06!!!!!"
(Mr Yeo and A06 screams.)
"A06!!!" (screeeaaaamm!!!)
"A06!!" (screeamm!!)
"A06!" (scream. erm where is this going?)
-_____|||-'
Dennis Yeo is just pure madness.
Oh. and e lead actor. he's another of my bro's OBS/PJC friends.!
Pravin asked me to introduce myself. me said me name, handshake.
reaction: "Benedict's sister?!"
Ok. haha. said that my bro just smsed him not too long ago, that my bro's rather cool (bleah. x=), that he ate damn lots during e OBS thingie. e director took him away after awhile.
like some busy star sia. lol.
anyway think i've met almost all e OBS pple. Nice bunch of peeps.
my bro's nice to everyone except me.
Feel like skipping school tml, go for poly open houses.
then meet my 24-year-old-best-friend at SIM before going back for training.
playing against Yishun (his old JC! haha.) JC friendly.
then rushing back to church for worship band prac. drums. sigh.
(:

we touch but we just cant cross the barricade
we hug but we just cant do it the same
we talk- we still do it just like the old times.
but. that feeling of withdrawal..is there..
we're just afraid to fall again.....

Your Love Situation by Amberishjewel
Username?
Your Love Is...	Gentle
During Lovemaking You Act...	Like a cat, longing to be pet
Your Partner Is...	Your support
Your Partner Has Said That You...	Are extrodinary
Your Love is Summed Up In A Quote.	"You deserve a bed of roses"
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

Your future occupation by meteoric
Your name
Your future occupation	Graphic Artist
Yearly income	$623,966
Hours per week you work	69
Education	Very little
Created with quill18's MemeGen 2.0!

happy birthday
Yeap! Happy 18th birthday to Ho Ting!!
pretended to be totally clueless about her birthday, though Mrs Nikki Bei almost spoilt our plans during first period.
("Eh i was expecting a birthday song today..")
we had no choice but to pretend that no one's birthday was today.
("Birthday? Where got? Have meh?")
Ho Ting looked quite sad. x=
everyone was furiously passing e card around behind her.
Break time came, everyone helped prepare everything while she was in e toilet.
Luckily she loves going to e toilet. made things much easier heh.
she came down, said that she "felt weird". even asked: "Whose birthday is it?" -.-;
We said "Indra, he da birthday boyy". cos indra and co. were taking a freaking long time to come down.
then when they finally arrived, we brought e strudel-bdae-cake out and i played a kinda screwy impromptu birthday song on e piano.
Ho Ting looked so happy. and touched. heh.
We got her a pendant, $*7 from perlinis',
a BIG card with a BIG "18" on e front cover,
and da apple strudel. Everyone said it tasted great. it did. ((:
Was rather revolted by an attempt to put me down amidst all the happy celebrations.
didnt let it bother me, threw it behind me and went back celebrating with the smiling birthday girl. ;)
quite a pity, one of e girls involved happens to be my long lost church friend's good friend from school.
could have made a new friend, but i don't see the want anymore.

anyhow, I'll..
1. Not let trivial matters bother me.
2. Not say things which i don't mean at all. unless im crapping.
3. Not force people to say things when they change their minds about saying. they'll tell if they want to.
4. Not judge others. 'He who judges others brings judgment upon himself,'
5. Gonna treasure the things worth treasuring.

Knowing Ho Ting's one of the best things which happened to me in PJC. Really.
Only sang 'Happy Birthday' 9 times.. half our targeted number of times. madness~
quite alot of peep's birthdays today i think.
I'll really miss A06 and some others when i leave.
Nothing lasts forever..
oh well.
hopefully i can keep in touch with A06 when i leave.
everyone thinks i love it at PJC. i only love some things. but not enough to make me stay.
was thinking of quitting JC soon after i get my results, but i guess maybe not since i will have another 3 months for poly to start.
(didnt i hear bottles of champagne popping? why has it stopped?)
boo. heck.
Have fun all you 3-months-course pple. (:

i just wanna hold you close now.

nuer:
i dont deny that i screw up most of e time during debate competitions.
in fact, e team i was in won our debates like....twice? out of duno how many. six? my first time debating, maybe, but i always blabber when under stress. argh. i always seem to have no problem arguing and 'debating' on normal days but i cant really focus my thoughts during competitions. of course my pride takes a dive when we lose, but i treat it as experience. you should too. and there's always another mountain higher.. so dont feel shitty.
heck that bitch who laughs at your style, pronunciation etc. you have your unique way of debating, so she can go boil her head if she thinks she's soooo vunderful. she's just full of herself cos she know's her english is good? it doesnt give her e reason to place herself anywhere up there lor. in fact, i think she's real low. i'd like to see her bring back e trophy for nanhua. if that EVER happens. heck her.
seek ways to improve yourself, but NOT to e extent of trying to 'one step reach sky' - 'yi2 bu4 deng1 tian1'. everything takes time, its never too late. dont expect to hit your peak so soon, it'll backfire. and my dear please dont keep putting pressure on yourself. its no good for health, really. take care lots ok? hope band's not giving you trouble.. take care. miss you and love ya too! :)

mistake: is HAJI. Sorry guys!! :|
thanks vivien. :D

hope ive cleared the air.

went to sentosa..thank God it rained- early in e morning.
godpa picked me up, had breakfast, drove down. talked lots. so missed him.
especially going at 110 km/h. =x
but dont really feel e kick that much now...
joined e rest of e church youths later, played contact+touchrugby+captain'sball all rolled into one.
watching e guys ram into each other and e girls dragging guys off e guy and tickling them to aid their cause.
madness.
viv dont go on again with ur 'PRC-i-got-cramps-lifeguard-please-save-me-but-i-could-walk-once-i-got-out-of-the-waters-and-even-climbed-up-e-lifeguard-tower' intepretation hor. *winks*
stan dont start with e shag bands thingie too!
wilson farted in e waters and e waters turned warm?
we suspected that he pee-ed.
secrets revealed.
wahaha~
quite a no. of pple went. had fun. (:
mel...too bad u didnt go eh. sigh.
shoulder still hurt while 'demostrating' butterfly stroke..
cant swim much for now.
i think its dislocated bits. argh. gonna see sinseh. but no acupuncture!! will die again.
tan! Yeah man. =D
thank God too that hari raya puasa is on a MONDAY.
no mass p.e before training!
but no basketball training. bleah.
tml's my class' Ho Ting aka Hot-thing aka WHOLEthing's bdae!!
bought an apple strudel from ritz' as a bdae cake just now. hope it keeps..
maz got her a necklace i think.
my whole class is chipping in..
but duno if e strudel's enough to go around.
maybe i'll just share my share wit raelo.
will wish her happy bdae tml. haha.

HAPPY HARI RAYA PUASA to all my malay friends! ;))

i want you so bad, so bad.
but its just not meant to be.
unless God wills.
we'll remain as good friends.
but no telling what's gonna happen in future.
still..
i love you.

my com literally exploded the other day, now its alrite.
went to town, took photos. i think im starting to become narcissistic. haha had lotsa fun!
melissa, eun-mei, evan, charis, stanley, roy, royston, dom-kor,me. squashed into one booth.
but came out niceely. heh.
weird mix of peeps- ages ranging from 15-25. haha! a whole decade! Wait- dom will be 26 this year! oh mann!! =x
realised i hang out mostly with older peeps due to church. anyway.
fell in love with a black bikini from tannlines. im gonna get it! will set me back by $80.. sigh.
mei was complaining that i keep buying them sinful-literal-meaning-of-less-is-more(expensive) pieces of cloth.
bleah. tomorrow's sentosa outing with the above mentioned and rest of e youth peeps.
quite happy that i can go relax. i dont know if i actually am enjoying myself in pjc or not.
my class peeps are simply wonderful. and ive made fast friends, ones that are really down-to-earth and fun.
of course there're those who diss me.
love thy enemies as thyself
so i dont blame them. dont care about them la.
ho ting, mazlinah, ah bao, indra, hafis, cathy, dilys, priscilla, raelo. some of e most wonderfullest pple in A06.
my class. and others in pjc too..of course. bball peeps, OG peeps, J2s i got to know by default, other J1s i got to know through friends.
its inevitable that i will feel very sad when we split..

sigh. realised too that i missed so many people..emileen in SA who came back to glorychurch today to see me, eun-mei who hasnt been back for some time, doreen and rose who are in uni. godma who is working. especially godpa. my closest confidante and 'soul mate'. haha. we're almost as alike as 2 peas character-wise. but havent seen much of them due to school. sigh.
Samuel left for NZ for ns. will be back on e 17th but he'll miss Jacinth's departure to Australia on the 8th. she wants to go study in e Uni there and she wants to stay. with her now-aussie-PR-sis. argh..i hate partings. just got to know her better..and she's going.. siewhui, a long lost church friend, sophia, my clique member, are all going to aussie. Australia's stealing all my friends! ;[

my bro's crashing my school one of these days. haha. 2 of his rjc friends crashed on friday.
happened to accompany friend to talk to denise,she intro-ed me and she and i intro-ed myself as 'benedict's sister'.
they were quite suprised that they'd actually see me.. apparently my bro wore my pjc pe shorts to rj e other day and was showing them. no wonder i had no more shorts(had only 1 pair) and had to use my money to buy another pair. hmph. pretty nice and cool peeps, girl's a national netball player.
anyway results come out 24th. end of 3mths, im out. will be off doing something i truly enjoy (:
all i really want to do now is to spend time
with those i love..

pengcheng:
what's with all e dissing?
i dont get it. never offended you. to think im actually asking why. i know you're from e neighbouring class with e mgs and cgs girl whom i asked to tone down (READ: TONE DOWN, NOT SHUT UP.), and i don't want to know how much they have bitched about me. but all i can say is, if i am the one who needs to give you a moment of silence for your much-needed-shut-eye, well, during that lecture they were really talking SO loudly that they could be heard 5 rows down. i said "do u mind if u lower down your volume? we are trying to listen here. thanks." i said all these with NO trace of sarcasm. just irritation. i have the right to be irritated ya see. its a lecture for everybody. im not scared, ive nothing to hide. all i know is that they go round saying that i asked them to SHUT UP which i DID NOT. if she's not happy, come and talk things out face-to-face with me. no need to turn their heads and stare whenever i walk pass them and start bitching. i dont need to make enemies, neither do i have the want to. i dont long to be shrouded by 'admirers'; i want true friends. i know that im vocal- maybe overly-at times, and my enthusiasm is sometimes mistaken for attention seeking, but those who truly know me well appreciate my enthusiasm for one thing. why am i explaining all these eh? i wonder if it is of any use. i know i cant have the whole world 'liking' me. its impossible. i just dont like losing potential friends i guess.

i shall not try to salvage things anymore. all i can say is that from what i initially heard from classmates that you're a very nice guy, im just saddened and shocked to see that im e perfect example of someone whom a 'nice person' would dislike. diss me all you want, and do it now. after e end of these 3 months, you most probably wont get to diss me anymore, and no-one to disturb you from your beauty sleep in wonderful, boring, pjc lectures. all the best for your promos then.